Apr 14 2009
You don’t ACTUALLY get to dance with the stars? Dammit.
Shawn Johnson is a cute little 17-year-old Olympic gymnast from Iowa. According to Wikipedia, at the 2008 Summer Olympics, Shawn “won the silver medal in the individual all-around competition, receiving a score of 62.725.” She is also a contestant on the show Dancing With the Stars, paired up with Mark Ballas - some loser from Texas.
Johnson and Ballas.
Last month, a 34-year-old Floridian named Robert O’Ryan was arrested while trying to sneak onto the set where Dancing With the Stars was being filmed. Police found Robert in possession zip ties, duct tape, loaded guns, and love letters written to Shawn Johnson.
Robert is currently being held in jail on $220,000 bail. He has plead not guilty to two misdemeanor gun charges and a felony stalking charge. According to Robert, he isn’t guilty because he spoke to Shawn Johnson through telepathy and she agreed to have a baby with him.
Robert has yet to be tried and convicted for his crimes, but today a judge ruled that he has to keep away from Shawn Johnson for the next 3 years - even though he’s currently in jail and will most likely remain there. Prison bars can’t prevent telepathic thoughts from escaping though, so hopefully, Robert and Shawn can still communicate with each other.
Suppose for a minute that Robert O’Ryan really did talk to Shawn Johnson through telepathy. He could be one of the only people in the world capable of such a phenomenon. We not only cockblocked him, but now he’ll never teach us his secret powers.
This is bullshit. I want to learn how to speak to people with my mind. Robert, stop hogging all the psychic abilities!
It’s hard to find a picture of this man without some wood blocking his face, kind of like your mom.
Bonus fact: The last time Robert’s neighbor saw him in Florida, he was talking to a tree.
robert looks like he would have been enjoying dancing with shawn more than that mark douchebag, who looks embarrased to be seen with her. and i don’t think robert should be charged for stalking, all he wanted was some kinky sex. and they probably were talking using telepathy. he’s a real prince charming.
So pretty sure I laughed at the mom comment. I kinda miss your stupid face.
OH MY GOD HE IS SO UGLY LMFAO.
THIS ONE WAS THE FUNNIEST ONE!
LMFAODNSKJFHJSDND.
jaja talking to a tree… wow
only in florida
you should write about the dominos people who go fired for serving contaminated food. find the full vid and watch it. It’s gross.
I just think it’d be cool if you wrote about it because that took place in my home town
and they guy lives two houses down from me.
hahahahahaa
anyway…
i think that this guy should be the next governor of florida