Apr 09 2009
Spears sluts it up again, disses weed
Over the past few months, Britney Spears had been regaining my respect. I never thought she would make a comeback after all her mental breakdowns and pussy shots on the internet. Despite her crotch looking like a pile smashed bubblegum with dirt on it, Britney got her act together and released a smash album and went on tour.
Then I heard the song “If You Seek Amy” on her new album. The worst song ever written, ever. Worse than “I Wanna Stand With You on a Mountain” by Savage Garden.
I wish I could travel back in time to before Britney Spears was born. I would go to Mississippi and make sure Britney’s parents never met. Then, I would have sex with Lynne Spears and end up being Britney’s father. Not for long though because, during her pregnancy, Lynne would “accidentally” fall down the stairs and lose the baby.
Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are beggin’ to ‘If You Seek Amy’
Love me hate me
But can’t you see what I see
All of the boys and all of the girls are beggin’ to ‘If You Seek Amy’
Get it? When you pronounce the words “if you seek Amy,” it sounds like you’re saying, “F-U-C-K me.” Ohh, the cleverosity is killing me!
Britney Spears has officially entered a whole new level of egotism. She’s not only claiming that all of the boys want to bang her, but also all of the girls! Well, I actually asked 15 random girls if they want to fuck Britney Spears. Five of them got really creeped out and didn’t answer me, but the other ten said, “No.”
Not that many of us want to have sex with you anymore, Brit.
Bonus: Last night, Britney played a show in Vancouver, Canada. She came onstage for a minute, smelled some marijuana smoke, and then ran off again. The following announcement was relayed to the crowd: “It’s become uncomfortable and unsafe for the performers, including Ms. Spears… The show will resume as soon as the air around the stage is clear.”
Britney returned to the stage shortly after the announcement, performed for 45 minutes, and then said her thank yous and goodbyes. The last words she shouted to the crowd were, “Drive safe. Don’t smoke weed! Rock out with your cocks out! Peace, motherfuckers!”
Good point, Britney. You don’t smoke weed, and you’re the perfect role model for young girls.
I think she needs to die already
i have no comment on britney since i have loved her as long as i can remember. dont hate. i would marry you. seriously i think youre so clever and your stories make my day
She should blow five guys with bleedy dicks in a dark alley, get AIDs, and die.
Everyone will want to fuck her then.
Nah. I rekon double chins are coming back.
If You Seek Amy… bah ha ha ha…. i’m gonna use that this weekend. …not another person… but myself. Yes I am quite the talker, I can never say no to myself. Oh you Brown eyed devil… what? oh yeah back to Britney…
look when i went to school, like when i was in 4-5 grade… girls in my class looked like little girls. like kids… jogging pants shirt, whatever. several years later…fast forward to the now and here…. 4th and 5th graders dress like tramps. They look like hookers Its fucking pathetic. only difference in now and then whores like Britney spears wasn’t on the market yet. I’m juss saying…
Oh my god lmfao @ that picture!
But, I love Britney so no comment!
Still, I love YOUR cleverness Dustin
She’s has had more people in her than the Lincoln tunnel and Madonna combined!
Wow she only played 45 minutes? Thats fucking sad. I saw BB King live like last sunday, he played an hour and a half, and hes fucking 83! Cmon Britney, stop being such a lazy slut, your letting an 83 year old black man do better than you! Pick up your damn game!
so dissing the song is pretty low because it is clever, but what she did on tour is really sad…
DrivingWithYourKidOnYourLap101
a class now offered online by ms. “role model” spears
What exactly is her appeal, anyway? She doesn’t seem very bright and I guess she looks okay…I dunno. To me it seems like she’d be a better pornographic actress than singer.