Apr 06 2009
Nintendo DSi released. I know, big deal, right?
Yesterday, thousands of North Americans shelled out $170 for the newest iteration of Nintendo’s handheld system - the Nintendo DSi. When the original Nintendo DS came out in November 2004, people ate ‘em up like ice cream sandwiches. However, since this is Nintendo’s third release of the same system, things are just getting ridiculous.
For awhile, I wanted a Nintendo DS almost as bad as a Sony PSP, but the DS was too bulky. Nintendo realized that things aren’t cool unless they’re small (unless it’s a penis or a gun), so they released the slightly-improved, and smaller, Nintendo DS Lite.
People weren’t happy with the DS Lite though. It wasn’t small enough.
“Alright, you fuckers,” responded Nintendo. “We’ll release another DS and make it so awesome and small that you’ll actually complain about how sweet it is.”
Enter the DSi.
“OMFG, I’ve never seen its equal.”
The new DSi boasts two 0.3 megapixel cameras, which produce pictures similar to the cell phone you had in 2001. It’s also slimmer than the DS Lite, has larger LCD screens, more RAM, and a faster processor.
Basically, imagine a normal piece of human feces. Now, take that turd and make it smaller. Nice, huh? It doesn’t hurt as bad coming out. Also increase the size of the undigested corn chunks and sesame seeds. Isn’t it so much nicer to look at? And finally, increase the speed of that turd so it shoots right out of your butthole.
See how much more fun things are when you make them smaller, faster, and more visually appealing?
Slightly off topic bonus: This was the image Google used on their front page story about the DSi launch. They have perpetuated the stereotype that sexy “gamer girls” are more rare than talking unicorns.
$170 can get me drunk for an entire weekend, i’m going to pass on buying that. my ds lite makes me perfectly happy with its backwards compatibility.
what’s even rarer than sexy gamer girls are sexy gamer girls with videogame trampstamps. and i have one. everyone wants to blow a load on it.
bring on the talking unicorns.
Lmfao, fail?
i had to SELL these things because i work at GameStop. To make it even better, the store is next to a Wal Mart. You can imagine the clientele i get to interact with.
i actually encouraged people to not buy it because it’s a waste of money, that’s good salesmanship.
speaking of sexy gamer chicks with sexy gaming tattoos (points to self)
HEHE.