Mar 31 2009
Happy Virus Day
Tomorrow is April 1st, 2009. Many people will be playing pranks on their friends, families, and co-workers, while something terrible is lurking in the shadows - a computer virus.
Apparently, millions of computers are infected with a sneaky little worm called “Conficker.” Wikipedia describes how it works:
“Upon infection, the worm saves a copy of its DLL form to a random filename in the Windows system folder, then arranges to load itself thereafter at boot as a system service with a randomly generated name. It’s effects will get worse and the virus will activate on April 1st (April Fools Day). It could be a hoax but you can never be too cautious.”
This is supposed to mean something.
This is serious, people. Have you ever had a computer virus? It sucks. Now imagine like, millions of computers going crazy at once. This is what is going to happen:
First thing, you’re probably going to get raped. When all of the sex addicts can’t look at their internet child porn, they’re going to take to the streets.
Next, all the people in the hospitals who are depending on computer technology to live will die. I know that is a terrible thing to say, but do you think the Conficker worm cares about poor little Lucy and her iron lung? Psh, no.
Actually, Lucy will be fine. Iron lungs are gas-powered.
Shortly after the hospital crisis, Ohio will burn completely to the ground and be even shittier than it already is.
Spiders will grow wings and fly.
These are only a few of the thousands of plagues to hit our planet tomorrow. Those of you that aren’t infected with the Conficker virus, you aren’t safe either. You’ll still be raped and bitten by flying spiders.
I heard about that.
Funny that its supposed to wreak havoc on April Fool’s Day.
Either the programmer wants everyone to write it off as a joke,
or its another lame-ass April Fool’s Day joke.
Oh well. I’ll just scan my computer before I go to bed.
And disconnect it from the internet. And I’m not going to think anything of it.
Remember the big freak out about Y2k?
People were out buying truckloads of water and shit.
I’m approaching this the same exact way.
Even the news freaked over that.
And seems to me that nothing happened at all.
I told my self that I couldn’t wait until you used MY name in one of your stories.
I’m happy, hahahaha.
I got a virus 3 days ago lol.
Where are my n00dz?
Wow! Good thing I don’t live in Ohio anymore. My state isn’t going to burn to the ground, I can sleep sound tonight. I don’t know about all of the raping and flying spider bites though. How far is that supposed to spread?
Dear Jumped Up Christ Not flying spiders!!! First I started fearing Spiders when I was young… March 20th 2009 I started Fearing Banana loving Spiders and 4-1-09 I started fearing flying spiders!!! Dear God its only gonna get worse….
…Ohio getting shittier… is that even possible?
if ohio gets shittier will it still be above florida on the idiot shit list?