Feb 24 2009
Calm down, old man!
I like old people. Old ladies, mostly. Whenever I see a cute little elderly woman in her 80s, especially if she is all wrinkles with white hair, I can’t help but smile. Some of you probably think I’m joking right now, but seriously, I’m not. I really like old ladies. Only the cute little ones though, and not in a sexual way.
So after you read this next story, don’t think that I despise all senior citizens - only some of them.
71-year-old Geoff Dornan is making headlines in the UK today because he was recently found guilty of a most heinous crime: dangerous skating.
Geoff is older than a box of biscuits from World War II, but he’s a die-hard rollerblader. And here’s the thing: Old man with a walker? Not scary. Old man with a scooter? Just stay out of his way. Old man on rollerblades? Look the fuck out!
Geoff Durnan, rippin’ it up.
This guy is a lot more agile than he looks. I’ve got ten bucks that says he can probably still touch his toes (and another five that says his balls can too). Staying active at such an advanced age is a wonderful thing, so I can’t knock him for his love of rollerblading. The problem is where he chooses to rollerblade.
On a regular basis, Geoff would skate down the busiest street in Southport, causing many people to get irritated as he weaved between them like he was competing on the slaloms. Other geriatrics and sometimes small children or midgets would unnecessarily dive out of Geoff’s way. To many, he was a ticking timebomb on skates.
Imagine this: If an oncoming car swerves into your lane, are you going to play chicken with it until it moves? Unless you’re Princess Diana’s limo driver, probably not. Oh wait, they smashed into a cement pillar, not another car. You get the point though.
Finally, the magistrate considered him enough of a nuisance to prosecute. No time in jail or anything, just some fines. About $3,000 worth.
Geoff is pissed now. He considers himself a professional skater. Why should other people be scared of him? He knows what he’s doing. You wouldn’t be scared of an old man walking, so why not an old man rollerblading? By the way, that’s his opinion, not my own.
Just watch THIS video and ask yourself, “Would I feel comfortable walking around this man?”
Geoff, we don’t want you to stop rollerblading. Just don’t do it in a crowded area because it freaks people out. If you seriously don’t think a senior citizen powerblading down a congested sidewalk is high-risk behavior, have you considered being checked for Alzheimer’s?
while i do read every story… i’ve just been to lazy to create an account and reply until now……
i’m 24 and i have the sense to know, not to skate down a busy city street. call me crazy, but something about cars running over me and wiping out on pedestrians… dont sound all that appealing. I’d say you called this one ….Alzheimer’s “Oh right….streets and sidewalks are for cars and walking… damnit i always get that wrong… that would explain why, everytime i go to the roller rink, i always end up with someone stuck in my cars hood…”
i think he is no more of a danger that powerwalkers