Sidecarsally News

I can’t help but get annoyed every time I talk to a religious person about religion. And by far the most annoying person to debate religion with is a Christian.

Exhibit A:

That was the most honest and believable speech I’ve ever heard him give, but it’s still bullshit. This man has done so many terrible things in his life, there is no way he can believe in God. Well, unless he’s already accepted the fact that he is definitely going to Hell.

Every time I hear a President talk about his beliefs in God, I get so filled with rage that I want to personally club a baby seal to death on the White House lawn in protest.

RELIGION HAS NO PLACE IN AMERICAN POLITICS AND YOU CAN NOT LET GOD INFLUENCE YOUR DECISIONS WHEN YOU’RE LEADING A COUNTRY BASED ON RELIGIOUS FREEDOM.

Christians, you have said this yourself, “Having faith is believing in the irrational.” Then isn’t it kind of illogical to make decisions for everyone else based on your irrational beliefs and moral views?

Abortion should always remain legal in the United States because its main adversary is the Church. That single fact should make it an issue immune from debate. Women should be able to decide if they want to carry a child for 9 months. It’s their bodies. Not yours. Not God’s.

But what about the baby, right? You’d give rights to an unborn fetus the size of a peanut, but you’ll take away the rights of the gays. Nice.

Gay marriage will eventually become legal everywhere because Christian morals are degrading in America. More people are starting to realize that gay people are normal humans and deserve rights too. If a dude wants to stick it to another dude for the rest of his life, as long as they’re paying taxes, they should be allowed to get married.

Marriage isn’t about “Holiness” anymore. Look around you.

I’d like to do an experiment:

Question: If anti-gayists are so concerned about preserving the Holiness of marriage, how perfect are their own marriages?

Research: Find 20 happily married couples that oppose gay marriage. Follow them individually EVERYWHERE, anonymously of course. Observe any lying, cheating, fighting, raping, or murdering that may occur in these “perfect” marriages.

Hypothesis: My guess is that at least half of the happily married couples are either involved in infidelity, or have unhealthy marriages.

Field Test 1: The husband of a particularly happy Christian family was found to be molesting the pet dog. I caught him on numerous occasions entering the bathroom with his dog and a jar of peanut butter, only to return with the dog. No bread or bagels were brought into the bathroom, leading me to believe that the husband was involved in a sexual act with the canine.

Field Test 2: At approximately 7:45AM today, the husband from happy couple #8 left the house for work. Three minutes later, a bus full of elementary school children pulled up in front of the house. Leaving bus running (with kids inside), the bus driver entered the couples’ home. One minute later, the driver and wife could be seen in the bay window, having sex - in plain view of the bus.

Analysis / Conclusion: It appears that the average married, hetero, anti-gay person is a hypocrite. They waste their own marriages and complain when a lesbian finds true love and wants to vacuum that one carpet… forever.

 STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLES’ LIVES.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS